When Mental Health Issues Isolate….

CarlCraigMy son was the kid who other teachers and parents probably cringed to see coming.

As big and beautiful as his heart is, he is the one in the class who will not sit still.  He invades the personal space of others.  At times, he is disrespectful to teachers and sometimes students.  Some would argue that the distractions my son causes in the classroom is not fair to the teachers and especially the students.  That he is robbing the students from learning their lessons.

Maybe they are correct.  And if so, then what happens to my son?  What happens to the countless number of kids who struggle with ADHD, ODD, or any number of mental health issues?

What happens when no matter how intelligent and sweet these children are, they are slowly pushed aside?  They will be pushed away so far that their distractions become faint.  It will start with countless meetings to the school. It will continue with the child being moved away from the other students. The desk will be placed near the teachers or pulled away to sit alone.  If the distractions continue, the child will be transferred to a Special Needs class, and then the last resort would be a special needs school.

We live in a world where messy and loud are not tolerated.  Children with mental health issues are exhausting and can often be downright obnoxious. And still, these kids – my kid, deserves a solid education. He deserves positive childhood memories and to be included.

Where do kids go when they are not wanted around?  What resources are available to assist with their emotional and social growth?  I’ve heard the “It takes a village to raise a child.” quote over the years.  But what if the village distances themselves or worse they turn their backs?

The journey to the first meeting requested by the school is long one.  By the time of the first meeting is in motion, there have been several calls home to discuss the day.  There have been several reprehended incidents in motion to address the current days list of distractions.

The optimist in me chooses to believe there are answers.   However, as I lay awake at night concerned about my son’s future, I just at this time have no idea what those answers are. And while I am being honest with not only you, but myself, I will continue to do what I have for years.  Celebrate the moments of good throughout the day, and collect them to help us get through the rocky days.  I will remind myself that no child, not even mine CHOOSES to behave with dysfunction.  And we get through the day.  Sometimes that is the only goal, to simply get through the day.

I will do my best to remember that one memory does not necessarily reflect my child’s entire life.  One good day, does not mean we will not have any more issues.  But deeper than that the bad days also do not mean his life will be painful.

We –together, get through the day…minute by minute, and moment by moment.

3 thoughts on “When Mental Health Issues Isolate….

  1. I can totally relate! I had to pull my son from school in 4th grade due to severe depression and constant suspensions/emergency exclusions, good news is 2 years later he is happy, healthy, and has friends who understand him…he even attends electives through an ALE for homeschool students.
    Stay strong mom, you know him like no other. Prayers and well wishes 🙂

    1. Thank you and i’m very happy to hear that your son is doing well. When you speak of “suspensions & emergency exclusions” that must have been difficult/stressful for you as well. So a huge congratulations to YOU for all the work & success you have created.

      1. 🙂 I developed PTSD and near anxiety attacks every time my phone rang at work. We have to make some of the toughest decisions as parents, don’t we? It’s so hard to watch our kids struggle and schools trying to help but not know how so they create more hurdles.
        A big hug to all of us moms!!

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